Do you ever feel the “not working” guilt? Or feel terribly guilty about taking breaks?
More and more, I am realizing that my need to be productive can’t be turned off. And unfortunately, when not productive, that all-too-familiar guilt shows up just to remind me I’m not doing enough. Anybody relate?
Right after I finished my master’s degree, I had SO many plans. I would work on my blog, continue marketing my brand on Instagram and get things rolling. All this time I would have after I graduated, I planned to re-invest in my personal passions.
BUT I needed a break so I planned to take a week off of my blog to simply “relax” and allow my body to rest. It’s always during these rest times that I realize I do not know how to rest.
Related: How to rest when you’re a workaholic.
During this break, I allowed myself to invest time cleaning and organizing–basically finish all the tasks I put off during grad school, while watching shows I’ve been meaning to watch.
And at the end of the day, I got a lot done, but not the same amount as I thought I should. And I woke up later than I normally did–all telling me how much of the day I wasted. Do you ever feel like this?
Well, if you have, you’re not alone. As business-minded people, work is important to us. Even more, hard work is so important that when we stop, we’re left feeling guilty and unfulfilled.
There are two types of guilt: proportionate and disproportionate.
- Proportionate is rational guilt, where we might have done something wrong so it’s justified that we feel guilty.
- Disproportionate is irrational guilt, where we’ve done nothing wrong but we rationalize why the guilt is valid and continue feeling guilty.
The not working guilt is disproportionate, yet it feels overwhelming when we try to relax. Taking a break is NOT wrong. Not working is not wrong. Yet, oftentimes, we feel so guilty when we believe we haven’t done enough, or when we feel that taking a break costs more than it gives.
How to overcome the not working guilt and take the break you deserve.
- Take the right kind of break. Yes, I know a good Netflix binge can feel like the only thing you have energy left to do, and sometimes, it can be the best thing for you during a season of time. But I also know that it can make you feel even worse because it’s not actually restful in the way you need. Read my article on How to Rest for more about that. Basically, when we need rest, we actually need restoration in an area of our life. So doing nothing doesn’t actually feel restful.
- Be intentional about the break you take. Ask yourself what you need in this break so you can be intentional about it. Sometimes, our plate is filled with so many things that when there is a void, we tend to fill it. When I finished grad school, I started adding a bunch of random tasks to my list all to fill up my planner. I even thought about (and still thinking) about getting a puppy. Not being busy is uncomfortable for us workaholics so we need to be aware when we’re working just to fill a void.
- Note all the things you’ve done at the end of your break. Whether you’ve folded all your laundry while watching your favorite show or whether you’ve taken a nap, you are doing something necessary for you at that point in time. Make note of that. Also, list any open-ended tasks you’ve done as a close-ended tasks. For instance, “clean bathroom” could be broken down into tasks like these: scrub bathtub, clean toilet, bleach sink, etc. Crossing off “clean bathroom” as one task that took an hour and a half doesn’t always feel fulfilling because you don’t always see (at a glance) all the little things you’ve done. Then, you forget and feel like you just did one thing. Note the little things.
- Make your mind up that your break is necessary. Breaks allow you to launch into new projects without burnout and with fresh energy. During a workout, when you do 45 seconds of work and take 15 seconds of rest, the rest time is necessary for an optimal 45 seconds.
- Meditate on these thoughts:
- What you’ve done is enough.
- You are enough.
- Your break is necessary for you to keep performing at your highest level.
- You’re not sacrificing or putting off success. You’re actually investing in yourself so that when you get back to working, you can do it better.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are your main concerns about taking breaks? Do you experience the not working guilt often?
